Posted by Barack Levin on 3rd April 2012
Parents reading this post will agree – losing a kid in the park can be a nightmare. It starts with that sinking feeling that you have not seen your kid for quite some time. After that there is the anticipation of spotting his red or blonde hair somewhere far from you but when this does not happen fear and hysteria takes place – where is my child? What happened to him?
Here is a story that happened to us in the park last weekend. We went over with some friends. The adults were chatting and the kids were playing. My son (almost 8 ) was riding his bikes with his friends. This particular park has a bike trail that continues on for miles along the river. My son requested to ride until the bridge over the creek and I let him. Although it is not near us and I can not keep my eyes on him, I trust him. Time went buy and it was time to pack and leave – time to go back home. My wife and I turn to look for my son and he is gone. He simply vanished – disappeared into thin air.
My wife started to get worried but I know my son and most importantly – I trust him. I know he will not just vanish without a good cause. Suddenly we remembered that one of friends went for a walk with their kids along the bike trail. One of their kids is my son’s best friends. A quick call to our friends and we find out that my son indeed decided to continue riding his bike along the river with them. We asked them to send him back from about a mile and half away and he rode on his bike all by himself back to us.
On our way home we explained to him that we have no problem with him changing his mind when he is away from us and wants to continue the ride with his friend but in the future to simply tell the parents to call us and let us know.
I put so much trust in my kids and know that they are very responsible. I had no doubt in my mind that he knew what decision to make and use his analytical skills to make the right decision. I have also added another skill set – inform your parents when you change your plans, not because they go crazy when they do not see you, because they would like to know where you are.
Tags: kid, park
Posted in Tips and Advice | No Comments »
Posted by Barack Levin on 2nd November 2010
I went with my kids to the music class and while my son was going in the class, I stayed behind with my girl playing some board games with her. In the meantime I was noticing other parents and their kids and especially one mom and her 2 year old son.
He had a small plastic box where he stores his pencils and crayons. He was sitting at the table playing with it when all of a sudden he opened it and dropped the contents on the floor. The mom was sitting with her girl in another table and saw what was happening. I was poised to see what will happen next and how would she handle the situation. Will she pick them up will he?
He looked at her and than back at the floor and said: “Oh-oh. I made a mess. Mom clean it” and looked at his mom. When she did not reply he started chanting this phrase. This meant to me that this is not the first time he is doing something like this and he is used for his mom to clean after me. Now, if it was me, he would have picked the pencils and put them in place, but by his mom his mom’s reaction, I already knew this was not going to happen. The mom told him: “You pick it up” but he looked at her if she did not even utter these words. It was really pathetic and the mom knew it so well. You could hear it in her voice. She knew that even though she just said it, nothing will happen and this is the real sad part. If she stood behind her words and meant what she said, he would have learned a long time ago to respect that and follow her, but he knew she did not mean it, and he just continued chanting.
From here, I knew exactly how things will turn out and that’s exactly what happened. When the mom saw that he is not moving, she told him:” I will help you” which is understandable. I would have done the same thing to kick start things, but not the way she did it. She sat on the floor, while sat in his chair and started collecting the pencils while begging him:” Help me”. He of course did not move. So she put the box on the floor, handed him a pencil and told him to put it in the box. He took the pencil and threw it to the box. She seemed to be happy but this is of course not the way to do it.
Eventually he continued to sit at his chair and she was on the floor organizing the pencils in the box.
This is exactly how you prompt kids to understand how to control their parents. No good can come out of it and without knowing that lady I can already tell that she has other problems with her kid that she can not and will not be able to fix.
Tags: control, kid
Posted in Tips and Advice | 5 Comments »