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Through the course of my one year experience with my son, I have developed several theories such as the 4N and Power of No to better help me raise my son.
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Barack Levin

Author: Barack Levin

Bargaining Power

Posted by Barack Levin on February 28th, 2011

My son is allowed 20 minutes a day on his DSI. To be very honest, most days he does not even have the time to play the full 20 minutes. There is just so much to do in our house and by the time he gets to his room it is already bed time. Over the weekend, he came up with a new thought that is very typical for this age. He knows some basic math and he told his mom:” I only played 5 minutes yesterday on my DSI so I am aloud to play 35 minutes today”. Indeed, he was right in his calculations. The 15 minutes from yesterday plus the 20 from today, do equal 35. But that did not really help him. My wife told him: “The 20 minutes is per day and not accumulative. You have not used them today. Too bad. Tomorrow you will have the same 20 minutes to play”. My son answered: “But it is not fair. These 20 minutes belong to me”. He was trying to bargain his way our of it. I was proud of him because he used real adult like arguments and not whining or screaming to get his way. His logic was, these 20 minutes belong to me and I can stack them up if I wanted to. But here he had one slight problem with his argument and my wife’s answer was the final blow: “You see dear, in this house, you do not make the rules. We do. These are the rules that we put down for the DSI and they will not be changed”. That was the end of the conversation. My son knows that when he hits that wall he has no reason to continue arguing because it will not change the facts. He was visibly upset of course but I think that it is our responsibility, as parents, to supervise our kids and put boundaries to their behavior.

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